forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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