lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
