i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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