God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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