why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
