Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
