idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
