i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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