Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
