Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
