Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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