At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
