You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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