Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
