I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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