my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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