He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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