Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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