the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
