While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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