I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
