found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
