The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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