Don't you send me to vm
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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