I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
