three words: i give head
three words: not that well
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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