one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize