So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He did a backflip because drugs
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
