Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize