So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
