sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
