What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We need to rekindle our bromance
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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