I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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