Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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