Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Boobs are out for the taking
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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