I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
