If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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