worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
