Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dear god my vagina.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
