if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
