Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
