You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My first STD was from a foam party
this just has baby written all over it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
