where am i from again
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
