You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
