Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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