Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
3pm strippers are depressing
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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