R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
