in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
