Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
