we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want to make out with him forever
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize