yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
