He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
