he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
