I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
