At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
