How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize