Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
