this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
