I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
