Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Come share oat with me in your robe
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
