Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
