Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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