super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
