i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
