You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize