Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He kissed a someone with a penis
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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