Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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